I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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