do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
