Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
