i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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