i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
