The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's official drugs can't kill me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
