talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize