Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
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