U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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