This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
