We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
