Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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