My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Text me some of your sweat
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
