You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
