I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
