Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
