It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
