i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
