We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
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