dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
