An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's no shave November. This is our time.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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