Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
