Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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