I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
