It's like God shit irony all over that family
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
