its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
