So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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