Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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