Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
