So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
