just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
