I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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