piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
