Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
