Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
