If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
