The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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