He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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