Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Farmville is her only friend.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize