your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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