are you so shy because you have an std?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
