It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
