I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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