Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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