He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
