I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
