I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize