So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
