i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
