Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
