is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
