As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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