i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
