my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
