My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
