I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
